Please Just Be Normal Sauce: On Changing and Remaining Natural

I have to admit that the first thing that came to mind when I read this slogan was my hair:

Change your attitude, but remain natural.

I thought about how I cover the gray but stay within natural color ranges. Strange but honest and immediate associations are part of my process when it comes to studying each lojong, so I wanted to share - especially since I know there is a small but definite group of people who always read this blog who also know how fussy I am about my hair.

After I had a good laugh about my vanity, I brought myself back to thoughts of my inner life. I thought about how I do sometimes make a big deal to friends and acquaintances about my study of Buddhism. Sometimes it's to share the joy, and peace, and tools I've acquired, but sometimes it's a bit show-off-y. I hung my head in shame for a second when this clicked.

Moving on, though, I turned to the UnfetteredMinds.org translation: "Change your intention but behave naturally." And the brief explanation offered:

"Don't make a public display of your efforts in mind training. Behave naturally with others."

Oof. Even though I know I'm not supposed to judge my progress even as I keep reaching to improve, the brief commentary from that website supported my original reaction - self-recrimination.

So it was with a mix of trepidation and hope that I moved onto the Judy Lief piece on Tricycle's website. I should know better than to worry about what Lief will have to say, since she has such a wonderful way of making these Eastern philosophies jibe with my Western way of thinking. One bit in particular stood out as helpful:

"This slogan targets one attitude in particular: the attitude that you yourself are more important than others. The attitude that you come first and others come second. It is rather embarrassing, but crude as it may sound, most of us carry this attitude or assumption with us all the time. It is definitely our default position, and deeply ingrained."

So it's not about Buddhism in general; it's about how I relate to the world. And some how, in the middle of thinking and writing about it, my mind clicked over to a particular scene from 30 Rock. The episode is one in which Liz Lemon, the main protagonist of the series, is trying to get approved for adoption. The case worker is coming to Liz's office and Liz asks the people who work for her to "Please, just be normalsauce for one day." She is asking them to keep her needs in mind as they move through their day. And that is what this slogan is asking: for me to keep other's needs in mind even as I go through my day. Not to place their needs above mine, but to avoid placing mine above theirs. It is telling me to weigh the needs and roles equally and to not see myself as the center of the universe. 

Being an educator and being a boss has taught me that I'm just one voice and one need among many, but I need to be more intentional. Lief's advice for putting this into practice is exactly what I'm going to do: "When you notice your attitude turning inward, fixating on yourself, give it a gentle nudge and turn it outward to include other beings. Don’t punish yourself for your selfishness or give yourself a gold star for your altruism. Simply apply the slogan and move on."

Until next time, namaste and all that.

Buddhists Wobble, But They Don't Fall Down: On the Three Principles

So much of my study and practice of Buddhism is acknowledging that I will never be perfect at it. This idea most definitely applies to how I worked with last week's concept. I put plenty of effort into tracking when I lost my way, especially with regards to kindness and openness. Doesn't seem to have any effect yet, but I'm going to keep working on it. I'll get better eventually. I just have to give myself time and space to work on it.

This idea of being patient with myself plays into the tenet I'm examining this week:

Always abide by the three basic principles.

I did not pass go, did not collect $200, didn't even try to reason out what this meant before heading to UnfetteredMind.org. The translation they've presented, "Always train in three principles," is essentially the same. The explanation did add to my understanding:

The three principles are: intention, action, and balance. 

I can't help thinking of Weebles whenever I think of balance in this kind of context. In my mind, a bodhisattva might wobble, but they don't fall down.

That idea didn't leave me completely as I moved onto reading the Tricycle piece on this teaching. There's something about western Buddhist writings that make me feel like I'm on the right path. That was definitely true here. I pretty much always find comfort and resonance in Judy Lief's interpretations and commentary. For instance, in her piece about this tenet she says: "On the spiritual path, over and over again it is a good idea to keep coming back to a few basic principles. By doing so, you can bound your actions with discipline. You can keep your practice on track." Yes. Exactly that.

As she got into the heart of it, though, she had a slightly different explanation of what the three principles are:

"This slogan suggests you work with three basic principles: honoring your commitments, refraining from outrageous actions, and developing patience."

She goes on to explain that these aren't just with regards to your actions, commitments, and patience for others, but also for yourself. This idea is so important. I need to constantly remind myself. For those moments when I fall into my old habits, when even I'm startled at my snark or cynicism, I need to remember to be patient with myself instead of getting angry. Also, touching back on last week's practice, I need to use these moments to reaffirm my commitment to this path.

And that's what Leif wants us to think about as we work with this teaching: "What does it mean to make a commitment? What helps you to maintain the commitments you have made, and what throws you off track?"

So that's what I'll be doing. Until next time, namaste and all that.

Making the Best of a Bad: On Practicing Even When Distracted

Source

Yes, it's been a while. I'm teaching a class this semester and that seems to have eaten up all of my spare time that's not spent with friends or at work or doing crazy extravagant things like, yanno, sleeping and eating and chores. Despite having pretty good reasons for having ignored this little blog of mine, I've been feeling guilty about it. Then, when I saw the new tenet, I felt even guiltier:

If you can practice even when distracted, you are well trained.

Really? A guilt trip? Also, isn't practice the opposite of distracted? <theatrical sigh> I have been meditating pretty much every day (missed three times in the last month, and I was sick for two of those), but I haven't done much beyond trying to be mindful and meditation. Too distracted.

As is my pattern with these teachings, I turned first to UnfetteredMind.org to see if they have an alternate translation and/or a helpful explanation. Their translation of this teaching wasn't very helpful, "Proficiency means you do it even when distracted." Their explanation helped, however:

"Your training arises naturally to correct imbalances when you encounter unexpected events, just as an expert equestrian corrects imbalances without thinking about doing so."

That passage made me think of a cat who does something utterly klutzy, but manages to make it look like the whole maneuver was on purpose - like that kitten above. Like you might get off balance, but you work with it and right yourself smoothly. (On a side note: I keep thinking about giving up on UnfetteredMinds.org, but then I get occasional gems like this...)

Tricycle's piece echoed this idea of being able to regain your balance, but Lief added one further idea:

"According to this slogan, instead of waging a kind of battle with distractions you can co-opt them as supports for your practice. It is like setting a default tendency toward mindfulness and bodhichitta, so that the moment a distraction arises, it brings us right back. The instant we notice we have lost our attention, we have regained it. So for a well-trained mind, when sudden distractions arise, they do not interrupt your practice, but reinforce it." (Source)

And that gets at the whole reason lojong attracts me - the idea of using my daily life to inform my practice of Buddhism. It's about making the best of a bad situation. She adds one further idea in her suggestion of how to incorporate this tenet into practice more concretely:

"In your practice and during your daily activities, pay particular attention to the points at which you lose your mindfulness. In terms of bodhichitta practice, pay particular attention to the points at which you lose your openness or kindness. Notice the process of losing it and coming back."

So that's what I'll be doing. Until next time, namaste and all that. 

Always Look on the Bright Side: On Maintaining a Joyful Mind

If the tenet I worked with last week was something I needed to hear, then that goes double for this week's:

Always maintain only a joyful mind.

Like most other homo sapiens, I get bogged down from time to time. Sweeping world events, momentary personal upsets, and everything in between,.. any of it can rev up the negative.

UnfetteredMinds.org's translation, "A joyous state of mind is a constant support," gives a bit of an answer to the "why?" I heard myself asking after reading this lojong tenet. That site's commentary adds a little as well:

"A deep and quiet joy is always present when your internal peace is such that you aren't disturbed or thrown into confusion by events in the world or by your own thoughts and feelings." (Source.)   

So, okay. I get it. Maintaining a positive mindset is a good thing. All lives end in tragedy eventually, so you might as well enjoy the ride. As absurd as that Monty Python song might be, it makes some sense. Regardless of systemic racism or global warming or mold on that bread I was saving to make bread pudding, life doesn't get easier if I'm angry or anxious about it.

So, not only to I get it, I'm on board with maintaining a joyful mind. But how? How do I do this?

Enter Judy Lief, as always, with some fabulously helpful commentary:

"Clearly this slogan is not referring to an ignorance-is-bliss type of joy. And it does not imply that everything is okay. Buddhism is known for telling it like it is and for not being afraid to face hard truths—and the truth is that everything is not okay. Yet we are still advised to be joyful."

Lief always manages to make these tenets concrete and tangible for me. And after reading her short piece on this topic, my interpretation is that this particular tenet is about enjoying the ride while recognizing the steep hills the roller coaster has to climb sometimes.

Further, her recommended practice makes even more sense:

"For today’s practice, I would simply like to pass on a practice I received from Chögyam Trungpa Rinpoche which is simplicity itself, but oddly effective: No matter what you are feeling or what is going on, smile at least once a day." [Inserted link mine.]

Even if I can't be joyful in ever moment, I can make sure to be joyful at least once per day. So that's what I'll be working on this week.

Until next time, namaste and all that. 

Being Self Aware: On Holding the Principal Witness

This is a tenet I need to hear:

Of the two witnesses, hold the principal one.

The translation from UnfetteredMind.org is a little different, and adds a layer of understanding for me: "Two witnesses: rely on the important one." And the commentary added even more:

Feedback from others is unreliable. You know when you are clear and present. Rely on the witness of mind itself.   

After going that far, the commentary on this teaching from Judy Lief at Tricycle didn't feel necessary, but I always go there and I'm glad I stuck to my pattern. One phrase in particular stood out to me: "within a [community] of one hundred members, there are a hundred different paths." I sometimes worry that I'm doing this Buddhist thing wrong, that I'm not present enough or kind enough to myself and others, that I'm off the path. But this key phrase reminded me that I'm never off my own path - even if it goes by the woods and then through a garbage dump and finally along a highway, it's still my path.

I read on and found another passage that resonated strongly:

"It is hard to accept this kind of existential aloneness in ourselves or in others. We want people to really know us, and we want to have some way of truly understanding others. But no matter how much we bare our hearts, we can never convey the fullness of our experiential reality. And no matter how much we probe, we can never fully penetrate another person’s experience."

And that's the moment when that silly marmalade kitten seeing himself as a lion came to mind. I don't think I should always disregard my friends' observations, but really I'm the only person who can know when I'm present and in my skin - and being present is the whole point of my studying lojong.

Lief's parting advice in her piece about this tenet is a perfect way for me to navigate between needing the reflection my friends present and needing to trust my own experience: "Pay attention to the loneliness of experience. Notice the difference between seeking for confirmation and direct witnessing. What makes you trust or distrust your own experience?"

So that's what I'll be doing for a while. Until next time, namaste and all that.

Being Present: On All Dharma

Yes, it's been a while. All the energy I'd been devoting to this blog got sidetracked into a class I was taking - a great class that was interesting and that will serve me well professionally. Every week I looked at this blog, took a deep breath, and pulled out my homework instead. For those of you who've been reading Lojong Ruminations steadily, I'm sorry for the long silence. The class is over and I'm back for now,

Now, onto the new tenet...

Source

It's a short, simple slogan this time:

All dharma agrees at one point.

My journey with lojong has taught me to reserve judgement until I've read the commentaries and given my brain a chance to mull it over, and this time was no different. From UnfetteredMinds.org, I got a succinct summary:

"Presence is the one aim of all practice instructions. Forget about measuring your achievement and rely on the single question: Can I experience what is arising right now?" (Source.)

A good starting point, since being in the moment instead of worrying about the future or the past is part of what brought me to this religion. Turning to Tricycle, I found a bit more depth. Lief posits that this tenet is about how we judge ourselves and others in our application and pursuit of Buddhism.

"There are a lot of trappings in the realm of spirituality. Some teachers have many followers and others only a few. There are all sorts of costumes, titles, and robes. Teachers compete for students, and students evaluate teachers and sanghas by all kinds of criteria. Sometimes one style of Buddhism becomes trendy for a while and then fades out of fashion. Cultural and gender biases abound. People speculate on how enlightened this teacher or that may be, and look for signs of official recognition, status, and power. So what should we look for in a teacher or a sangha?" (Source.) 

Since I have neither sangha (I've tried a couple of groups in this area, but none felt like a good fit.) nor teacher, unless you count my few Buddhist friends who occasionally make recommendations for readings or the authors of those readings, I have had to be my own sangha and my own teacher. This means I'm left thinking about how I measure myself.

When I measure myself, I think about how I feel/act/think now versus four or five years ago when I first found the writings of Pema Chodron. I know I've become more myself in that time, more comfortable in my skin, more in tune with who I want to be/am as opposed to who others expect me to be. I also know I have a long way to go. The ideal I have in mind is based on what I see from non-human animals. Whenever I see a squirrel or an owl or a crow or even my cat, I can tell the squirrel/owl/crow/cat is completely in the moment. If the squirrel is hungry, it eats. If the owl is tired, it sleeps. If the crow is curious, it investigates. If the cat is happy, it purrs. And it is that ever-present way of living to which I aspire.

Lief suggests a way to become more aware of what is happening when you've stepped away from the present:

"As you go about your day, try to pay attention to the points when your solid sense of separateness is provoked. Notice the thoughts and sensations that arise with reactions such as defensiveness and territoriality.  Pay attention to the thoughts and sensations arise when something has drawn you out, beyond your self-absorption." (Same source as above.)

So that's what I'll be doing this week. Until next time, namaste and all that. 

What Anybody Gets: On Consciousness at Death

From "Chapter 3" of Brief Lives by Neil Gaiman

This week's tenet is a bit of a head scratcher at first. I apologize ahead of time if I can't explain it to you sufficiently, but I have linked to the usual sources which helped me and will (I hope) help you.

The mahayana instruction for ejection of consciousness at death is the five strengths: how you conduct yourself is important.

Huh what? I know that "mahayana" means "great vehicle." I also assume that the five strengths are the ones that I researched for last week's post, but when I first read this tenet I felt as stupid about Buddhism as I did when I first started this blog. Not the end of the world, but not a comfortable feeling.

Next, as I always do, I turned to UnfetteredMinds.org. I felt even more confused after reading what that website has to say on this teaching. The translation they have is odd: "The five forces are the mahayana instructions for dying. Posture is important." (Source.) And their explanatory paragraph is even weirder:

"The same five as in the previous point, summary of essential instructions, but the order is changed to counteract the reactions that arise as you die: virtuous seeds to counteract denial, dedication to counteract anger, regret to counteract bargaining, momentum to take you through despair, and training to facilitate acceptance."

Isn't living the same as dying? It also seems that they brought Kubler-Ross' stages of grief into the discussion, so which is the Buddhist thought and which isn't? 

At this point in my research and reading, I was starting to feel desperate for a clear explanation. I'm so thankful I found the Tricycle series by Lief. If all else fails, I know I'll get sense from her writings about Lojong. That's exactly what happened this time. In fact, I sighed with audible relief after reading what she's written about this teaching. Lief discusses how the previous tenet was about living and this one is about dying, but she boils it down further and points out that it's really about fear.

I think I was initially confused because death isn't one of my big fears. It's not a comfortable thought, no, but there are things in the here & now that scare me way more than death. Like Neil Gaiman's Death, from "The Sandman" series, says in that quote up above - we all get a lifetime, after all. But even if we aren't all afraid of death, we all have our fears. This blog is at the edge of my comfort level for public sharing, so I'm not going to go into detail about what scares me more than dying. Instead I'm going to share Lief's advice for working with this tenet:

"Spend some time contemplating the things that make you afraid, and how you react. Contemplate times you are in pain, and how you deal with it. Notice whatever causes you to lose your mindfulness. Determine to hold the perspective of mindfulness and compassion even in the midst of fear, pain, or dying."

Being mindful about the things that take me out of mindfulness? Wow, that's going to be hard - but it will be worth it if I can get there. So that's what I'll be doing this week.

Until next time, namaste and all that.